Why I Hate Labor Day Barbecues

 at the A.L.F.

I hate Labor Day barbecues.

There, I said it.

I know I’m supposed to enjoy them. Labor Day is supposed to be the unofficial end of summer, a time for hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, cold drinks and good company. At least that’s how it works in the real world.

But here at the A.L.F., things are a little different.

For starters, there is the food.

Somebody always manages to turn a perfectly good hamburger into something resembling a hockey puck. The hot dogs are usually cooked until they have the consistency of rubber. The chicken has been exposed to so much heat that it could probably be used as building material. In other words, bad, overcooked food.

But bad food is only part of the problem.

First comes the seating.

Because this is an outdoor barbecue, we are expected to sit outside on folding chairs which is not comfortable when your body has reached the age where getting out of a chair has become an Olympic event.

You finally find a chair, lower yourself into it and immediately begin wondering how you're going to get back out.
There is also the way it is served.

You wait, sometimes in the hot sun, for a server who eventually shows up with a bendy paper plate, upon which is something questionable and tells you to “enjoy.”

Enjoy what?

The food or the experience?

And then there is the biggest problem of all:

The people.

Don't get me wrong. I like a lot of my fellow residents. Some are good friends, and I enjoy spending time with them.
But I don't necessarily want to spend Labor Day eating lunch with everybody. Especially the people I don't like.

At an A.L.F., you don't get to choose your neighbors, and you certainly don't get to choose who sits next to you at a barbecue. You can try moving to another table, but chances are somebody will follow you because they want to talk.
And talk.

And talk.

By the time dessert arrives, I'm usually ready to declare my independence from Labor Day.

Maybe that's the real purpose of the holiday.

Labor Day was created to honor working people.

Well, after 80-plus years of working, paying taxes and surviving everything life has thrown at me, I think I've earned the right to spend Labor Day doing absolutely nothing.

Give me a comfortable chair, something decent to eat and a television remote.
That's my kind of Labor Day celebration.

And if somebody wants to barbecue, they can do it without me.
I'll be inside.  bwc

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1. Pasta is much older than you might think. Ancient civilizations made various forms of noodles and pasta-like foods long before modern Italian pasta became popular.

2. There are hundreds of pasta shapes. Spaghetti, penne and macaroni are just a few. Different shapes are designed to hold different sauces.

3. Pasta is not necessarily Italian in origin, Italy made pasta famous, but similar noodle-like foods existed in other parts of the world long before pasta became an Italian staple.

4. “Al dente” means “to the tooth.” It describes pasta that is cooked until it is tender but still slightly firm when you bite into it.

5. Pasta comes in more than just wheat. Today you can find pasta made from ingredients such as rice, corn, chickpeas, lentils and other grains and legumes.